How to play cat and mouse in a relationship

The Pocket Psychologist: The Fear of Intimacy: Cat and Mouse Games in Relationships

how to play cat and mouse in a relationship

Sujeiry plays a fun albeit dangerous game of cat and mouse while dating in When I decided to take our relationship to the next level, mofo. I was doing the cat and mouse thing with a guy for several months. some people like to play games like that. one person (usually the girl) will like a guy who. Playing head games can also bring about ill feelings once the person on realizes she is involved in a game of psychological cat and mouse.

While the game may work to screen prospective suitors or as a way to discover the sincerity of the man, if it continues too long, the game playing technique fails.

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A woman who constantly sidesteps not allowing her pursuer to capture her in any way will lose his interest. He will move on and she will begin the game anew with someone else. Read My Mind Games Women are often accused of expecting men to read their minds. A quick sample of the read my mind game goes like this: How about staying in and ordering pizza?

Couples who live together often place unrealistic expectations on the other. There is no way anyone can know what the other is thinking, unless thoughts become words.

how to play cat and mouse in a relationship

A woman who is on a power trip may head out for the evening, dressed in a sexy, low-cut dress. Upon meeting a guy, she sees his eyes linger on her cleavage. Females often engage in flirtatious, teasing behavior in order to validate their desirability. She may demand control of all situations making her less vulnerable. A couple heads out for an evening of dinner and dancing. This femme fatale had no intention of having sex when the couple arrived home.

Instead of making love, she immediately goes to sleep leaving him wondering. For example, a man meets a lovely woman at a party of a mutual friend.

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The two strike up a lively conversation and hit it off. He asks for her number, she gives it to him, and then goes home and waits. He refuses to call too soon and look too eager, so he waits at least three days before calling to invite her to dinner. A married man who removes his wedding ring while on a business trip is playing a deceitful game with every woman he flirts with.

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This is a dangerous relationship mind game with high stakes. The double talk mind game of men goes something like this. After dating for several months, you want to take the relationship to the next level. Was he just telling you what he thinks you want to hear, was he sincere and changed his mind, or was it just another mind game to keep stringing you along? Games People Play Everyone plays games, although many are ashamed to admit it.

Early in the relationship, each person is attempting to read the other and decide if this is a real possibility.

how to play cat and mouse in a relationship

Being able to navigate the dating scene, marriage, and relationships requires savvy perception. Knowing when to stop playing games and move on is key. Games taken too far can have devastating consequences, often leading to break ups. There are games women can play when dating that might improve her chances of snagging a guy or at least keeping his interest.

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Do not always be readily available when he calls. Do not sit next to the phone waiting for his call. Keep busy with an active lifestyle. Your independence and vitality will serve you well by showing him your world does not revolve him. Keep some mystery about you as long as you can.

how to play cat and mouse in a relationship

But when I get them It's like we can't get along well for too long, without one of us opting out. It's almost like we're not comfortable unless we're fighting.

how to play cat and mouse in a relationship

They are both fearful of intimacy and their cat and mouse game allows them to engage in this unspoken dance, where each of them participates in maintaining a certain distance in the relationship. The truth is, unconsciously, the cat is interested in the mouse because it flees, and the mouse is interested in the cat because it chases. As long as one is fleeing and the other chasing, they can each be reassured of a connection between them, but also that a certain distance will be maintained.

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Relationships like these may often reflect an underlying ambivalent attachment of childhood. Children who are ambivalently attached tend to be extremely suspicious of strangers. These children display considerable distress when separated from a parent or caregiver, but do not seem reassured or comforted by the return of the parent.

In some cases, the child might passively reject the parent by refusing comfort, or may openly display direct aggression toward the parent. This is also consistent with the rapprochement phase of separation-individuation as described by psychoanalyst Margaret Mahler. During this developmental phase, the child's pursuit of independence is tempered by its feelings of separation anxiety, which then serves to regulate the space between the mother and the infant.

As adults, those with this ambivalent attachment style often feel reluctant about becoming close to others and worry that their partner does not reciprocate their feelings. This leads to frequent breakups, often because the relationship feels cold and distant or too engulfing. However, these individuals feel especially distraught after the end of a relationship.

As a result, the relationship that is often maintained is like the one of Tom and Jerry, a cat and mouse game in which the partners often switch off between who will be the cat and who will be the mouse. The underlying fear for the couple is as follows.

The truth is that neither one of the couple really knows how to be intimate without fear of abandonment or fear of merger or consumption. They, therefore, manage their fears by unconsciously regulating the space between them.