The Ideal Muslimah: CHAPTER 4
She is one of the co-developers of the program “Marriage the Islamic way”, which . The Imam also says the couple can even get a blood test to ensure both are. Nov 30, Question: I wanted to know that in Islam do we have the concept of soul mate. popular media, because even the most loving spouse is a test of patience. Anything outside of marriage is a shadow of what Allah promises. Oct 15, To test us. Because we are here to be tested. Success is not through having perfectly smooth marriage with no problems at all. Success is when.
Slot in an hour at least everyday to work on your physical and mental fitness: If your spouse was the first person that came to your mind, you have a wonderful marriage Alhamdulillah. When the Prophet received the revelation for the first time, he began trembling with fear and ran to his wife Khadijah seeking comfort and reassurance saying: What is wrong with me? I was afraid that something bad might happen to me. But receive the good tidings!
By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you, for by Allah, you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, entertain your guests generously and assist those who are stricken with calamities.
They make each other bloom Did you know your spouse was a separate person with a unique mind, heart, body and soul before they married you? And did you know that they still are that individual person, only with you by their side?
Marriages begin to go headlong into constant unhappiness when one or both spouses forget this fundamental fact: Allah has created each of us to contribute in so many ways during our life on this earth and has blessed us with the potential to be all that He wants us to be.
Be that amazing person who motivates, encourages and helps your spouse discover and use their God-given potential and traits to bloom and be a source of joy and mercy to the world. Happy Muslim couples are partners in growth and productivity: They acknowledge that their spouse is a slave of Allah alone and marriage does not change that. They make time for each other — no matter what!
And the only person you will be left with is that spouse read: Your relationship needs exclusive attention every single day. Now is it really that hard to give half an hour of your time everyday to the person who deserves it most? They fight the real enemies: Ego is the defense mechanism of the lower self, and ego in marriage sounds like: This is because the lower self is a covert enemy lurking within each and every one of us.
Why ego is the biggest threat to a marriage is because it is an enemy from within. Ego is like a deceptive double agent that distorts reality and makes us deny and justify the wrongs that our lower selves commit towards our spouses, convincing us that we are right; while we are oppressing our own selves and our spouses and actually walking a path of humiliating self-destruction.
When he sees a fault in it, he should correct it. As a natural consequence, spouses stand the highest chance of facing our ego: But allowing your lower self to prevail in your marriage instead of seeing your marriage as a means to purify yourself is your own disastrous choice. Allah says in Surat Ash-Shams: And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness. He has succeeded who purifies it, and he has failed who instills it [with corruption].
Chapter 91, Verse ] Our spouses actually personify the mercy of Allah when they mirror our flaws to us so we can rise above our lower selves. They make us discern our innermost weaknesses that we could not have seen for ourselves, and Allah has blessed us with them for our own spiritual purification and salvation. The next time your spouse is desperately trying to get something about yourself across to you: Listen carefully and objectively, especially if they have been repeating it for a very long time.
Control the urge to defend yourself: Realize how merciful Allah is being to you through your spouse. Try this 4-step exercise the next time you face conflict in your marriage. Muslim couples today are actually serving their marriages on exquisitely decorated social media platters for the evil eye to devour: Not only is it unnecessary, it is highly insensitive. Happy Muslim couples do share their marital happiness, but sensibly.
Before sharing anything about your marital life with the public, ask yourself: Will it make any of them long to be in my position? Is it better off being private? Not putting your marriage in the way of the evil eye is the first way of protecting it from its harm.
Reading the morning and evening adhkarthe duas prescribed for protection against the evil eye as well as constantly thanking Allah for your marriage and your spouse fortifies this protection immensely. One of them comes and says: I did so and so. You have done nothing. Then one amongst them comes and says: I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.
The Satan goes near him and says: Shaytan perpetuates his whispers through their tongues, and you unwittingly believe them because they are your loved ones.
And thus begins insane marital strife. If you find yourself starting to get angry, seek refuge in Allah from the shaytan immediately. Happy Muslim couples empathize with one another. It is only the way in which conflicts are managed that distinguishes the health of one marriage from the other.
And it is all being recorded for a Day when He will be the Judge. Striking Her In some cases the solution to the problem may require some harshness and toughness. This is because there are some people who cannot be set straight when they go wrong by good behavior and soft advice alone.
Kindness and softness just make such people more arrogant and ignorant. Some such people, if met with toughness, respond by cooling down and ending their defiance. Generally speaking, it is not recommended for a husband to ever strike his wife and it is narrated that the Prophet peace and blessings be upon him said about those who do so that "they are not the best of you". However, in some cases resorting to harshness including striking may be a beneficial cure which in fact returns the partners back together in love and compassion.
In these cases, it can be a positive cure and a spiritual discipline. It is not meant for revenge or punishment. Whoever does it in such a manner is committing a sin and transgressing against his wife.
Instead, it is meant to restore what has become improper and bring the disruption to an end.
Is There a Concept of “Soulmates” in Islam?
Although it is a bitter medicine, in many cases it may be less harmful to all involved than the destruction of the foundation of the family. Narrated Mu'awiyah ibn Haydah: Apostle of Allah, how should we approach our wives and how should we leave them?
Act kindly towards woman, for woman is created from a rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you attempt to straighten it, you will break it, and if you leave it, its crookedness will remain there. So act kindly towards women. Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will.
If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. The Noble Quran, 4: She can look for the reasons for his behavior and admonish him with Islam in an attempt to make things right between them. However, Islam has not given her the right to address this problem by boycotting him or beating him as has been given to the husband.
This is because her nature is different from that of the man and because she does not have the same kind of power and authority in the marriage as he has. She should use some or all of the following steps: Admonish her husband and remind him of his responsibility in front of Allah towards his wife such as good behavior and kind treatment.
Try to please her husband in order to make things right. This can be just by showing kindness and concern and can also include compromising some of her own rights for the sake of harmony. This means that she may give up some of her due rights in order to stay in the marriage. For example, she may give up some of her rights to support, housing or equality of nights with other wives in order to remain under his protection and in the marriage.
Or, she may give up some or all of her dowry in exchange for his divorcing her. When talking to the spouse, don't point fingers. The moment you point the finger, even if it is not pointing back in the same direction it is still connected to youthat's the moment conflict starts.
The right thing for the wife to say is ''Honey, I'm tired, can you please take out the recycling bin for me today? This way the husband feels appreciated and will do it more often and the wife has more time to something else in return for him or clean up. Fight eye to eye. If the fighting has already started, sit down, and discuss it eye to eye.
If your spouse is not willing to sit down, be the 'bigger person' in the conversation and ask them nicely to sit down. Do not pick at the other for little things.
For example, your husband might move some of the pillows on to the other chair when he comes home from work everyday and everyday you put them back. Make it a habit! Do not pick at your husband for doing that. Also, if your wife likes to rearrange your mail, give it to her to put in order so that both of you are happy. Nagging at what the other does, doesn't help one bit.
10 Ways to Avoid Marrying the Wrong Person! – Mental Health 4 Muslims
A thank you for something nice here and there didn't hurt someone. Also, saying sorry to someone, even if they made the mistake, can make a big difference. Let the other make mistakes. No one is perfect, people make mistakes. Do not hold down the other when you wouldn't want to be held down for a mistake. Try not to always plan to annoy, because the only one who is to be annoyed is you more.
Okay, we all have our evil days but make sure the spouse is not having a bad day before hand.
Spend quality time together. What was the real reason you married the person? To have kids and that's it? I highly doubt that's why most people marry. The person you married is for a companion many people long to have but sometimes never get. Someone who's your best friend when your best friend isn't around. Back to reality, when spending quality time with your significant other it doesn't mean going shopping for 5 hours or going to a baseball game which only one might enjoy.
It means take the time out to enjoy the weather to talk, to play, to take a stroll down a country road or even speed race each other at the go-carts. Listen to what the other is saying. Men, on the other hand, sometimes only say things up front but without the drama and sometimes only half of what they want to say. Sometimes it can even be the reverse but listen and observe their body language. If they look at you when they are saying it, then they know what they want.
But if they tend to look away, they are more likely embarrassed or too shy to say it than not knowing what to say. Do not accuse them of hiding anything because sometimes things are hard to put into real words. Do not snoop in the other's past life. The moment you have tied the knot is the moment you start a new life. Snooping in their past will lead to miss conceptions. To tell you the truth, they were human once too.