The Wedding Team - Debrett's
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Traditionally, paying for the bouquets and the buttonholes; many brides will handle all the flowers. Buying thank you presents for the bridesmaids, pages, best man and ushers. Traditionally, the mothers should also receive a present or bouquet. Organising a hotel or equivalent for the wedding night and booking the honeymoon. Delivering a speech, and remembering to thank everyone involved. Best Man One of the greatest compliments a man can pay a friend is to ask him to be best man at his wedding.
The best man is taking on a major role and must be willing to commit fully to the task.
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Forward planning and good organisational skills are key. High levels of diplomacy, confidence, thoughtfulness and reliability are needed. The best man will be involved during the planning stages, so he must be willing to dedicate a considerable amount of time in the run-up to the actual wedding day. There is much more to the role than organising an unforgettable stag night and making a funny speech: Duties before the day Arranging a stag night or weekend at least several weeks in advance of the wedding day.
Making sure the ushers have the correct clothes and know what is expected of them on the day. Visiting the ceremony and reception venues.
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Becoming familiar with their layout and the timetable of events. Attending the rehearsal and introducing people that might not know each other. Duties on the day Staying with the groom the night before the wedding. Running through the day with the groom and checking that he has everything he needs not forgetting the rings. Accompanying the groom to the ceremony venue in good time at least 45 minutes in advance and staying with him in the lead-up to the service. Ensuring seat reservations are prepared for the wedding party and for parents of child bridesmaids and pages.
Making himself known to the ceremony officiate in case there are any problems before or during the service. Casting an eye over the venue and checking that family and guests are being seated correctly.
Looking out for a nod from the chief usher to say the bride has arrived. Handing over the ring s at the critical moment. Ensuring that the bride and groom are ready to have their photographs taken; getting them into the car or equivalent that will take them to the reception.
Ensuring that the schedule of the day is running to time. Checking that the bridesmaids, families of the bride and groom and ushers are shown to the correct cars for the journey to the reception. Having the money ready if any payments for the church or band are required on the day. Contacting the caterers to let them know when the bride and groom leave the ceremony venue.
Appointing an usher to ensure no guests are left stranded at the church or ceremony venue. Circulating and introducing guests at the reception. Liaising with the chief bridesmaid and ensuring that everything is going to plan. If there are any problems, remaining calm and quietly sorting them out, preferably without the bride and groom knowing. Decorating the going-away vehicle, if appropriate, together with the ushers.
Making sure that all guests leave the reception safely and sorting out any last minute taxis if necessary. After the big day, if the bride and groom would like to do so, the best man may place a marriage announcement in the newspaper. Chief Bridesmaid The Chief bridesmaid — traditionally called a maid of honour unmarried or matron of honour married — is usually a close friend or sister of the bride.
She is the main sounding-board in the lead-up to the wedding and on the day itself. She must be a confidante and a trustworthy friend; it is important that she understands any idiosyncrasies of the bride. This will include involvement in plans before the wedding and acting as her key aide on the day.
She must keep the bride calm and ensure that she is getting ready according to schedule, checking that she has everything she needs and helping her with her dress.
Duties Before the Day Clarifying with the bride how much involvement she will have in the lead-up to and on the wedding day.
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Attending wedding dress fittings, if required, and helping to assemble the accessories and going-away outfit. Assisting the bride with the choice of dresses for the bridesmaids.Bridesmaids and Groomsmen Sweet Invitation
Acting in a support role if there are any strained relations between the bride and her parents, or between the bride and groom. Keeping in close contact with the best man and other adult bridesmaids if there are any ; liaising with the parents of any young bridesmaids and pageboys.
Duties on the Day First and foremost, being a calm and collected presence, who will reassure the bride. Helping the bride into her dress and being with her while her hair and make-up is done. Keeping hold of any make-up or necessities required for touch-ups or unforeseen eventualities during the day, and checking whether the bride wants a warning if her make-up has run.
Looking after any warm layers the bride may wish to put on during the day. Ensuring that any small bridesmaids or pageboys are calm and dressed on time and that they know what they have to do. A secret stash of ideally non-sugary treats is a good idea.
Escorting the bridal party into the cars and waiting with them outside the ceremony venue for the bride. Once the bride has stepped out of the car, helping to arrange her dress, veil and bouquet.
Lining everyone up to walk down the aisle. Putting back her veil, if requested she may need to enlist the help of another bridesmaid. Exiting the venue on the arm of the best man, and escorting the bridesmaids and pageboys to the reception.
With the best man, contacting the caterers to let them know when the bride and groom leave the ceremony venue. Communicating with the best man throughout the day to ensure that everything is running smoothly, and that the schedule is running to time. Keeping a constant eye on the bride, and making sure she has everything she needs.
Assisting the bride when she is changing into her going-away outfit. Bridesmaids Adult Bridesmaids Some brides prefer to have children as their bridesmaids while others like to enlist the help of their close girlfriends. It is a matter of personal choice: Many brides choose a combination of adults and children. They are generally assistants to the bride and the chief bridesmaid; their level of involvement will vary depending on the size of the wedding and the wishes of the bride.
The bridesmaids will have a say in the choice of dresses and accessories, especially if they have been asked to pay for them. Bridesmaids should be available for dress shopping trips and fittings, and will also be involved in organising the hen party.
On the day, the bridesmaids help out with last minute preparations, and sometimes assist the bride in dressing. The chief bridesmaid delegates any tasks. If there are child bridesmaids and pages, the bridesmaids must look after them before and during the service, see them into the wedding cars, assemble them for photographs, and round them up when the speeches are about to start.
If there is only one child bridesmaid or pageboy, the chief bridesmaid should choose one adult bridesmaid to look after the child as required.
The bridesmaids help the chief bridesmaid to get the bride ready before the ceremony begins. They participate in the procession and recessional. They should be familiar with the timetable for the day so that they can advise and guide guests if necessary. At the reception, the bridesmaids must circulate and talk to all the guests. They should keep an eye on proceedings and report any problems or difficulties to the chief bridesmaid and best man.
They may also be responsible for taking away the wedding presents brought by guests on the day. Their purpose is, fundamentally, aesthetic.
Practically, they have very little to do other than look sweet and follow the bride down the aisle in the procession and the recessional. Children under four may be too young for the role. No one can predict how children will behave on the day, but excitable children never make ideal bridesmaids or pages.
On the day, the parents should keep an eye on their child and take responsibility for them whenever this is necessary. Using a fancy font in a very light gray, run each envelope through your printer, and then trace over the printed address using a calligraphy pen. Your guests will never know your secret! You're having a cash bar. In a perfect world, your guests won't have to open their wallets at your wedding. If you must have a cash bar, see if you can negotiate some drink specials with your venue to lessen the burden on your guests.
You're not feeding the band. Most even state this in their contracts.
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Or, you can sometimes provide subs, pizza, or another quick meal for your vendors ask them! Also, encourage them to grab some food during the cocktail hour. You're not taking the time to greet each guest personally.
As receiving lines have gone out of fashion, more and more couples plan to visit each table during the reception instead. What you don't know is that most couples never make it around to every table -- you'll get sidetracked when your favorite song comes on or when your cousin drags you off to the bar for celebratory drinks, and before you know it, it's time to cut the cake and say goodbye. Have a receiving line, even if it feels outdated and takes away from photo time.
Think about it this way: Would you rather spend 15 minutes having a receiving line after the ceremony or spend an hour or more! You have expectations for your gifts. This means that you should not include registry information with your wedding invitation. You can, however, include it with your bridal shower invite, since the primary purpose of the event is to shower the bride with gifts! You're skimping on bridal party gifts.
You're using thank-you cards with pre-printed messages. Believe it or not, back in the s -- often heralded as a time when great care was taken toward having proper manners and etiquette -- pre-printed thank-you cards were the norm. How and why did this change?