Family Guy s05e18 Episode Script | SS
"Meet the Quagmires" is the 18th and final episode of the fifth season of the animated comedy her high-heeled shoes off and jumping off the diving board into the pool with "Mr. Night" playing in the background, a reference to Caddyshack. , Pain in the Brain (Shnookums and Meat), February 22, , The Big Switch-a-Roo (Donkey Kong Country), March 4, , Brian's a Bad Father . S3E8: The Kiss Seen Around the World S3E9: Mr. Saturday Knight S5E Meet the Quagmires S7E3: Road to Germany S7E4: Baby Not on.
Here you go, Lieutenant Shiny-Sides.
- Animated Atrocities (season 5)
- Family Guy s05e18 Episode Script
- Family Guy
You don't have to eat it now. You'll eat it later, Lieutenant Shiny-Sides! Meg, stop staring at Mr. I'm afraid she's got her father's libido. What can I say? Hey, did you guys hear on the news about President Gore hunting down and killing Osama Bin Laden with his bare hands?
Meet the Quagmires
Man, the perfect hiding spot. The one place no one would look. Oh, there's the pie.
Lois, this is a huge mistake. What are you talking about, Peter? You're supposed to be married to me. We're the ones who were meant to be together. Not you and Quagmire. It's a little late for that, don't you think, Peter?
I mean, there was a time back when we dated that I thought you might be the one, but as I recall, you were more interested in partying with your friends. Then Glenn came along, and stole my heart.
When he kissed me that night at the Country Club Dance, I knew we'd be together forever. Hey Lois, I'm ready for your pie. And you made dessert, too!
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Oh, Glenn, I love all your sex jokes and your dirty puns. That's why I married you. Brian, going back in time ruined my life. We've got to get Death to send us back to again so I can undo what I did. Or we could just make the best of this. Al Gore is President. We could kind of just take that one and call it a win. I mean, with Bush, we didn't have flying cars that run on vegetable oil. I took this one out for you. You take this one, I keep this!
You are not taking my whole wallet so you can go shopping. Brian explains to Peter that by missing out on his date with Lois and making out with Molly, he altered the time line. Despite Brian's objections about leaving his idea of a "perfect" world in which there are flying cars that run on vegetable oil and Gore has killed Osama bin Laden by strangling him with his bare handsPeter wants to go back to the past so he can undo his mistake.
This seems to be a challenge because Death can only be summoned if someone dies, and Brian believes Al Gore's universal health care and zero-tolerance gun control laws have led to people living much longer. However, when Jane Jetson suddenly falls on the sidewalk and dies, Death arrives and again grants Peter's wish to return to the past. Back in the past, Peter is determined to accept Lois' invitation but repeatedly blows his opportunity and ends up repeatedly asking Death for a do-over.
When Peter finally gets it right, he forgets a few hours later and parties with Cleveland instead of keeping the date. He asks Death for another chance but Death, fed up with Peter's continued blunders, tells him that he will have to fix the problem on his own.
When Peter tries to apologize the next day, Lois is still upset with him for missing their date and has decided to go to the country club dance with Quagmire. Later that night, Peter and Brian sneak into the dance to prevent the kiss that caused Lois to fall in love with Quagmire.
They get in by crawling through the air vent, but crash through and accidentally injure one of the guys playing in the band on the stage, so Brian has to play guitar and sing.Family Guy - Mr and Mrs Quagmire
Peter tries to convince Lois that they belong together but she stubbornly informs Peter that he had his chance and blew it, and therefore she loves Quagmire now. Peter almost gives up but Brian notices Chris, Stewie, and Meg disappearing from a family picture, indicating that they have fallen off the plane of existence and tells Peter it is his last chance to do something that proves he loves Lois. Peter then demonstrates his passion by punching Quagmire and kissing Lois, showing toughness and that he cares deeply for her and wins back her love.
He asks her to marry him and she accepts. The episode ends with things seemingly back to normal, with the exception of Roger from American Dad! Production[ edit ] "Meet the Quagmires" was the last episode to be directed by Dan Povenmire.
The episode was written by series regular and future showrunner Mark Hentemannand directed by Chris Robertson and series regular Dan Povenmirewho left the series after completing the episode, in order to create his own series for the Disney Channel entitled Phineas and Ferbwhich has since been nominated for three Emmy Awards.
Cherry Chevapravatdumrong and Patrick Meighan worked as executive story editors. The episode's original premise was based on Cleveland 's divorce from his wife, Loretta, with Cleveland going on to become a hot bachelor in Quahog, causing Peter to become jealous, and desiring to become single again. In the opening scene of the episode, Horace the bartender is suddenly knocked unconscious after falling off a ladder, causing Death to appear.
After it is discovered that Horace is not actually dead, Death complains that he never likes to be too far from journalist Mike Wallace.