Meet the Spartans - Wikipedia
It's rare that a movie makes me ill these days, and it's rare that I can see a movie and hate the people behind it with such abhorrence, but Meet the Spartans rises . Want to See. Not Interested. Add Rating . RT on DVD: Transformers, Starship Troopers To Invade; Avoid Jessica Alba's Eye · View All Meet the Spartans News . The cast and writers of MEET THE SPARTANS try mightily, but there isn't much in If you see it, you'll be amused, but it will not knock you on your Spartan ass.
King Leonidas knocks a messenger in the hole, then his two men. Okay, not funny, but at least it's over After the credits seem to be over, deleted scenes are shown simply to make the movie more than 70 minutes.
During the deleted scenes, Dane Cook, George W. Bush, Tom Cruise, and Ellen Degeneres are also knocked in the hole. The joke is done 10 times over. The two extremely untalented writers of this mess want to include every movie possible, and mention every celebrity they can, and include any show they can cram in.
There are 3 instances of celebrity panels judging the Spartans in this, and it's not like it was a running joke either.
It was just lack of ideas. Much of the celebrity humor was just the celebrities pointing out their character traits. Paris Hilton, who is in a few scenes, but ultimately disappears with no point, talks about her jail time. Brittany Spears acts crazy. Lindsey Lohan gets out of rehab. Tyra Banks shows her cellulite.
And every other celebrity that is made fun of, has the exact same role. Also, there is a joke in poor taste. When Leonidas is going to be killed by a talking penguin, it says, "Say hi to Anna Nicole Smith for me. References to TV were thrown around, usually making no sense and totally pointless. Ugly Betty is the oracle. The movies were also thrown about all over so people in the audience could say, "Duh, I know what they're referencing. It made no sense why it was thrown in here.
Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo Carmen Electra erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her armor-plated chastity belt.
Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain Kevin Sorbo informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived.
Meet the Spartans
Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes ' demands for Sparta's submission. After growing angry with both the messenger's disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into a pit.
Despite Traitoro's advice that the messenger's guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes, such as Britney Spears Nicole ParkerRyan Seacrestand the American Idol ju dg es. Resolving to face the PersiansLeonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their price for their consultation.
They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice.
Meet the Spartans () - IMDb
The Oracle, Ugly Bettyreveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war. After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylaeand finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements.
Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton also played by Parkerwho tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes' messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff.
Xerxes Ken Davitianimpressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a " Yo Momma " fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.
Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed.