If you meet someone with friend potential, make an effort to spend time with that person. My book, The Introvert's Way: Living a Quiet Life in a Noisy World. If you find it hard to make small talk with people you don't know, this is the perfect solution -- and best of all, you'll make someone else feel less. A dinner or drinks with a small group of friends is the best setting for more introverted types, which is good news because meeting someone.
Just like a market crash, this is a possibility. For these reasons, we want to diversify our networks. But eventually, we need the intimacy of friendships.
That is why it is important to have skills that allow us to make new connections. How can we invest in our exponentially expanding network?
Especially when we have demanding jobs and crying babies of our own. You are likely already using the method we are going to discuss. However, it is happening to you rather than you intentionally using it. Let me tell you a story about the wrong way to approach making new friends before we discuss how Social Collision works.
The Scattershot Approach In my late 20smost of my friends were married or had moved away. I was trying anything to make new friends. After running into an alumnus of my college at a networking event, I began to text her. One night, a first social engagement was not working out, so I texted her to see where she was. She was at a bar fairly nearby, so I stopped in. The girl I had texted was at a long table of people. All of those people were on a social sports team together from their law school.
They were in their casual clothing. I was still in my khakis and button down and carrying a backpack from work. I sat down at the loud table of people who were bonded over their common education and social sports team. Sheepishly, I tried to talk to the one person I knew, but she was surrounded by a strong network of people. Realizing my mistake, I made an excuse to leave the bar.
Walking home quickly in an agitated state, I realized I had forgotten my bag. I raced back to get it. Did he even know anyone here? My takeaway from that night was that there was something wrong with me. But what I realized years later was that there was nothing wrong with me — though there was certainly something wrong with my scattershot approach.
While I had gone to school with that girl, she had formed relationships through her own Social Collision since college. The fact that we went to the same college was not a common enough bond for me to just insert myself into her social group. So What Exactly is Social Collision?How To Meet New People (Even If You're An Introvert)
Social Collision is the most powerful concept I have encountered when it comes to meeting people naturally. It is perfect for introverted personalities and takes the pressure off of us in the first few encounters with new people.
As I said above, you have likely engaged in Social Collision already, but the results suck because Social Collision is happening to you rather than you intentionally using it. If you have kids, who are you friends with? The same goes for work colleagues.
They all become friends because of Social Collision.
Further, what if we were fired? All of our relationships would be sourced from one area beyond our control. We need to diversify. But the reason you default into these relationships is that they are easy and natural. I run into this mom at swim practice five times a week. My kid plays with her smelly kid for some reason. And off we go. This is Social Collision used ineffectively and passively.
We need to be intentional about it. For example, I used to take my dog to the same dog park every day at about 6 PM. The people there sucked!
11 introverts reveal how you can still be introverted and meet your significant other - PRSUIT
And so did their dogs! They were tired and stressed out from the day, and their dogs were wild from being cooped up all day. So I changed it up. I went to the dog park at 7 AM every day. We went over and over in every weather condition constantly for weeks.
You know what happened? I became friends with five people who had some of the same values I did. That was enough to find other commonalities.
Introverts truly embrace who they are and they are better for it as a result. These are 11 quick stories from several self-proclaimed introverts and how they came to meet their significant other. I was a waitress at a restaurant he came into. I met my husband while I was shopping. And here we are, a year later, married. Bonus, The avocados are now free. Be clever on Tinder.
We both made it clear we were looking for a relationship, met up the day we matched for coffee, hit it off, and that was that.
Both of us work at a grocery store.
I saw her and thought that she was the cutest there but never really did anything about it. She works as a cashier and I work in produce. She would always do the reshop and I soon realized that she was doing that for a reason and started flirting with her back. We have been together 11 months now. I met my now husband at the gym, I would always work out with my brother and my now husband thought I was dating my brother because we were always at the gym together ew.
He was showing me a new work out and he almost smashed my face in with a dumbbell, I walked off because I was so embarrassed and started working out alone then he asked me out to lunch and we hit it off. She came over to me in a coffeeshop while she was on vacation in my country, to ask how to tip. We had a two-hour conversation, and then an amazing five-hour lunch two days later. She complained about her hostel and I offered her my spare bedroom. Nothing happened although it seems crystal-clear in retrospect that we were falling for each other duh.
Two nights later, I had to be gone for most of the night, on a work assignment, and I asked if she would please watch and walk my dog in my absence. I came home at 5 a. That was 26 years ago. Find something that excites you. But l kept hitting a wall! For 4 days all we did was: After asking about so many things, I finally on day 4, asked him about books… and the boy never shut his mouth there after!