No, Really, It's Not About the Nail - CMC
These words are used to describe the great little video clip Jason Headley has connection (the therapeutic relationship) for the client to allow themselves to be about something as obvious as a nail sticking out of her head. "It's Not About the Nail" | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | Palo Alto find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. For your enjoyment and thoughts, check out this less than two minute video, It's Not About the Nail, Sometimes it?s like you?ve got a nail in your head and you?re. great job conveying what seems to be a complicated relationship story in its simplest form. First, take a minute to watch this hilarious video. . Instead of fixing their nail, you feel that you have a nail on your own head now.
Label Your Feelings — Tell the other person how you are feeling in this situation. Offer to Help — Offer ways you can help them do the thing you want them to do. By utilizing these seven guidelines to communication, you increase the chances that you will get what you want, and it has the ability to help your relationship as well!
How would this look in practice? I really appreciate our talks and the ability to talk to you about things that are going on in my life that are difficult.
It’s Not About the Nail
It makes me feel connected and not so alone when things are hard. At the same time, when I do discuss issues that are coming up for me, it feels frustrating to me when you push me to solve the problem and come up with a solution.
And, what I really want is for you to just give me time and space to vent. If it helps, I can let you know what I want from you prior to us talking. Why do you always have to solve my problems for me? Each one of these skills can help the other person feel more heard, and even move them towards feeling comfortable to change.
It is helpful to learn all four of those skills, but if you needed to focus on one OK, twofocus on Open-Ended Questions and Reflections. Transforming questions into open-ended questions pulls the other person to give more information, and leads them to be reflective of their own situation. It also gives them the space to speak more and feel more heard, which can make them more willing to hear your feedback and thoughts as well.
Is It About the Nail? | HuffPost
Reflections are just what they sound like, reflecting back to a person what you hear them saying. While using these skills makes for much less amusing and entertaining YouTube videos, they do make for much more comfortable and healthy relationships. I was laughing so hard that I decided to write a blog about it. First, take a minute to watch this hilarious video.
Second, enjoy my light-hearted analysis and share your own analysis and recommendations in the comments. Sometimes, the nail is not really there.
Most times people complain for the sake of complaining. OMG, I am so stressed about my insert issue. It's giving me a pounding headache. They really just want to vent. Respond for the sake of responding. Repeat their concerns back to them: Insert issue can be very stressful. Just hearing about it is giving me a headache, too. The nail is there, but I don't want to do anything about it.The Fosters - Season 4, Episode 7: Nail - Freeform
You have been listening to the same complaints over and over. It's the same old crap. You can see the bright and shiny nail clearly on their forehead and just want to pull it out.
It's Not About the Nail - Bring Change to Mind
The solution is so obvious to you. But wait, they have not asked the questions: What do you think? As much as you want to pull that darn nail, don't! They just are not ready yet. You can gently lead the conversation to a path that will hopefully help them realize the real issue. Do you have any ideas that might help the situation? Help steer them to a place where they are ready to do something about it.
The nail is there, I am ready to do something about it.