How to Get Closure After a Breakup | Her Campus
So people often ask, “Should I contact my ex and try to get some closure? If so, then why do you want to meet them again under the guise of seeking closure?. My ex cheated on me for months before our breakup, I have now moved I mainly told her a while ago that maybe we could meet for coffee at. In a breakup, closure is when you and your ex accept that your Your meeting place should be private enough that you can have an open.
Originally Posted by buddha84 So, if anyone has seen my other posts, they would know that there has been some hell since my breakup. My ex cheated on me for months before our breakup, I have now moved out, and yes, I sent her emails.
I mainly told her a while ago that maybe we could meet for coffee at some point in some months and say our official goodbyes I will be moving. So after some days, I get an email with her saying that she would love to meet for coffee; that reading my emails made her sad; that "I can't imagine just never seeing you again after the last time we saw each other".
She is currently in a "committed relationship" with the guy she was cheating on me with. He has my same name and is 10 years older than her. Since the breakup, I've gotten in great shape lost 40lbs down to fromgot a promotion at work to a management position, and I've been really working on myself.
I am just conflicted because I know that meeting her will bring pain, and that closure only comes from inside. I just think that she never really dealt with our breakup, even though she did the dumping at the suggestion of her therapist.ASMR Roleplay: Closure [Meeting an ex] [Being mature] [Moving on]
Her saying that she wants to meet for closure just shows me how little she has actually worked on herself or how little she understands the situation. I was wondering if anyone else has had this kind of experience? I know that I can never get back with her since she cheated on me. I know that I need to move on, yet a part of me still wants to meet up and talk to her. During our relationship, I became really depressed, was stuck in my job, and complained all the time.
No correspondence takes place. Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen.
Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician. Sometimes when we are attached to something and that thing dies, it takes us a long time for the death of the thing to register.
This process of living through the period of time between when the thing dies and when we are ready to accept at an emotional level that the death has occurred is called grief.
This is a very sad thing that has happened for you. Your former boyfriend was put into a position where he had to choose between you and what his parents want for him and he made his choice in favor of what his parents want for him over you. He did not have the courage to tell you that he had made a choice.
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He may not have admitted it to himself consciously, but he did "vote with his feet" by distancing himself from you until it was obvious and you confronted him. You did absolutely the right thing by standing your ground and not allowing him to devalue the relationship by trying to convert it to a friendship when that is not what you desire. Some other people in your situation would have caved just to keep the relationship going, and that would not be good for them self-esteem-wise.
The price of you keeping your dignity is, unfortunately, that the relationship has died.
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The right thing to do now is to move on and find another man. This is so very hard to do sometimes, however. You say that you want closure, finality, and I appreciate that you want some event to happen that will snap you out of your trance and allow you to get unstuck emotionally and move on one way or another.
But be aware that if the closure you need is something that only this man can give you, that you have made yourself hostage to his whim and no longer have control over yourself and your own emotions.
How to Get Closure After a Breakup
What would closure look like? If you contact him, he is likely to try to be friends with you, because that is the path of least resistance for him. I think it likely that any contact you have with him will only prolong your agony unless seeing him not be straight with you helps something to snap in place in your mind.