12 Ways to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship | HuffPost Canada
Staying in a relationship long-term with a partner you adore is obviously the ultimate dating goal, but once you reach it, you might find yourself asking the big . When it comes to finding a reason to keep passion alive in your relationship, it all Have short and long term goals that the both of you can work on together. Psychological theories of love focus on such quintessential features as passion, commitment, closeness, early experiences in relationships, emotional needs.
Another reason that is said to reduce sexual desire is increased emotional connection. According to a prominent old theory, couples experience higher sexual desire when their relationship is uncertain, when there is some emotional distance between them. As they become emotionally connected the thrill in the relationship goes out of the window, following which the sex gets boring. This was popularly known as the Intimacy Desire paradox. Does emotional connection really kill sexual desire?
While sexual desire may thrive on uncertainty and enigma of a fresh relationship, stronger emotional attachment does not ruin it. A strong emotional bond is always desirable for a meaningful relationship.
In fact, it is not emotional connection that kills sexual desire but its absence. Familiarity is often confused with emotional bond. It is when couples become very familiar but not so much connected, sex gets unappealing. Key to reviving sexual desire in a long term relationship is boosting emotional bond Physical intimacy can be rejuvenated in a long term relationship by working on the emotional dynamics of a relationship.
Being responsive towards your partner can majorly strengthen your emotional bond with them. You have to show them that you really understand them and care for them.
Positive sentiments fostered by responsiveness towards your partner can revive lost sexual desire in long term relationships. We paused for a full minute of silence to honor the death of a noble effort that turned awful. When our minute was up, all of us open our eyes.
No matter how they word it, people often come down to saying the same two things: Next, we asked them another question: Are you willing to create a marriage in which you both feel fully appreciated and you make the relationship more important than your old patterns? The energy in the room lightened as their faces relaxed.
Again, they were caught by surprise. Even though their first marriage had lasted fourteen years and this new one only four years so far, it felt as if the first one never existed.
Now, take a closer look at the appreciation. Alternating Cycles Human beings alternate between two ongoing cycles: The ratio between the two—the amount of time we spend in each—determines how happy we are and how much happiness we inspire around us. It also affects how much creativity we express and inspire in others. The cycle of complaint goes as follows: We want or need something from our partner, such as more communicationmore understanding, more touch, more freedom.
Inevitably our partner fails to give us what we want, so we complain about it and criticize our partner for his or her faults and failures. Armed with more detailed evidence, we escalate our barrage of criticism and complaint.
Almost everybody who criticizes, though, is convinced that if they keep it up long enough it will have the proper motivational effect on the other person.
The cycle of appreciation, another ingredient for how to make love last, goes as follows: We look for things to appreciate about our partners.
We discover new ones or notice old ones anew. We speak our appreciations clearly. Living in a cycle of complaint consumes the very energy needed for creative expression. Living in a cycle of appreciation frees up energy that each person can use for individual and mutual creativity.
Appreciation in Action What most of us need to know is this: We have a choice about which cycle to live in.
5 Ways To Spark Passion In Your Long-Term Relationship - mindbodygreen
What most of us really need to know is how to shift quickly out of the cycle of complaint and into the cycle of appreciation, which has the power to create long lasting love. One of our research associates sent Gay a note a while back in which she articulated her own reaction to something that happened at a dinner with us.
Speaking of appreciation, I remember the first time I ever saw a clear example of it. The three of us were in a restaurant together when we first met. At one point in the conversation Kathlyn said something funny.
I vividly remember your turning to her and saying, out loud, casually, as if it was the most natural thing in the world: You make my life so much richer because of how you look at the world. I was just feeling grateful for that and wanted you to know it. I sat there perplexed for a moment.
12 Ways to Reignite the Passion in Your Relationship
Later, I realized that I was waiting for the punchline. My mind was thinking: Out of the blue? Without wanting anything in return? This latter observation distinguishes the art of appreciating from the related art of praising. There is no question that praise is a useful and important skill—many books are available on how to do it effectively.
As we will show later, the paradigm in which appreciation occurs is not linear, nor is it intended to produce a specific result although it is one of the factors that builds long-lasting love. It does not fit within a reward-and-punishment schema. You shift into the new paradigm by making a conscious decision, a commitment to base your relationships on an ongoing flow of positive energy—of genuine love.
Things change for the better the moment either of these skills enters a relationship. Here is an example of appreciation for its own sake, drawn from our own relationship: One morning I awoke early to do some writing.
Reigniting Passion in Long Term Relationships | posavski-obzor.info
After an hour or so I took a break to meditate, and during meditation an idea popped into my mind. I was upstairs when I heard her sleepy footsteps approach the steps. Suddenly I heard a giggle, and then another and another as she came up the stairs and encountered each of my different thank yous.
When she came into the kitchen she was absolutely aglow. A New Paradigm of Relationships We believe that concepts such as conscious committing and active appreciating constitute a shift in context that fundamentally alters the way in which people regard intimate relationships and contributes to how to make love last.
Prior Contexts Up until very recently, the context of intimate relationships was clouded by survival fears, rather than a desire for lasting love. Although survival is not the main priority for millions of people when they wake up each day, it still is for many others.
Fears about hunger, deprivation, and other survival issues still shape the nature of relationships. In times past, our ancestors paid less attention to psychological or spiritual fulfillment. Techniques for problem solving were essentially nonexistent. Things changed as the twentieth century gained momentum. Movies, literature, and other arts began to celebrate the transcendent possibilities of relationship—symbolized by the graceful dancing of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers.
The Freudian revolution promised to offer tools for handling problems when missteps caused us to tread on each other painfully. In the survival context, life is lived in waves with things like fear and hunger as the crests and periods of relief from those things as the swells.
In the fulfillment context, life is lived in waves of fulfillment and the hunger for more. We believe, however, that the context is about to make an even larger shift, opening access to a new force field. This new force is electric with previously hidden potential. We believe that relationships in the new millennium will shift toward a focus on appreciation and celebration.
The focus will be on the flow of connection. The couples who come to us now want more than traditional relationship tips and problem-solving skills. As people become more sensitive to the flow of energy inside themselves and in their relationships, they are looking beyond traditional therapeutic techniques to truly create long-lasting genuine love. They want life skills they can use to awaken and enhance the flow of connection. A single act of skillful committing or appreciating instantly shifts the relationship into a greater sense of flow and creativity.