20 Relationship mistakes we all make in our 20s | BLAVITY
Below are 19 relationship mistakes we all make in our 20s. More stories tagged with: relationships dating love realtionship tips relationship advice relationship. The twenties are the best part of our lives. It is the time when we become selfish and take up wrong decisions without thinking about its consequences. When you first started dating in your twenties, what mistakes did you with ( preferably stable, happy) relationships, what advice would you like.
Or getting a 10 PM call asking me what I was doing that evening seemed fine — who needed to be serious all of the time? But an indefinitely casual relationship was never my style, no matter how much I pretended not to care. This was never a good position to be in. How could I even think about going out with someone else when we had such a natural chemistry and I was completely smitten? Some people need more time to figure out what they want.
Forgetting to value myself. I wish I could have given my something self a big pep talk. To not accept anyone who treated her less than she treated him. To go after kind hearted people instead of just good-looking people. To watch out for the guys that have other romantic prospects in their lives, but continue to keep you on the sidelines.
That the right person will not make you sweat it out so hard and will be worth all the nonsense. More From Thought Catalog. Chances are, it will only lead to regret and wasted time. Instead, try to have as many experiences as possible. Take it slow and fall in love with yourself before you fall in love with someone else. You'll be better off for it. Your physical health is one of the only things that is a constant in your life and it has a HUGE impact on other areas of your life.
I regret taking it for granted and wasting so much time drinking and partying when I was in my early 20s. Lift weights, drink protein shakes, and sprint your happy ass off in your 20s and you won't regret it.
Avoid drinking to excess and using hard drugs. Sleep nine hours a night. Drink plenty of water. And watch what you eat. You will look, feel, and perform like an absolute champion. Do not sweep things under the carpet in your mind.
Now, if there's anything that seems like it might possibly be the slightest misunderstanding, I talk about it. If it turns out to be nothing, no worries. It's usually not nothing. I tied myself to one guy waaaaaayyyy too long, waayyyyyy too early, cheated on him repeatedly because I couldn't get it through my thick skull to just break it off already, then met my now-husband, all by the age of I wish I had left it broken off with Guy 1 the first time we broke up. And then dated around more before settling down.
I love my husband and I'm glad to be with him, but that mess before I met him? Not just the stereotypical douchey manboy who thinks girlfriend should do his laundry thing, though that's definitely one big way it manifests, but also stuff like trying to get the other person to make all your decisions for you and guide you through adulthood. Thinking that the fact that your SO and your friends don't get along means that you can just keep juggling them and it'll be smooooth sailing.
That second clause comes in several flavors: Confusing "he likes me" with "I like him. Attributing my relationship failures to my appearance.
Interpreting initial chemistry as a surefire sign that we were perfect for each other. Taking someone at their word when they listed all the ways in which their exes were horrible. Not taking someone at their word when they rejected me. Not going no-contact after a breakup. Thinking I could convince an ex to get back together with me, or that someone who didn't like me would come around if I just hung around long enough.
Not directly asking for what I wanted, and assuming a partner would anticipate my needs. Not standing up for myself, because I wanted to be a cool low-maintenance girlfriend and not needy or bitchy. You know, like that horrible ex he keeps complaining about. Always accepting relationships on the other person's terms, never insisting on my own. Seeking people who brought out my vices rather than my virtues. Thinking of a relationship as a state of being, like wearing a hat, instead of an ongoing interaction between two people.
Letting "you're so cute when you're angry" work. I fucking can't believe I fell for that one. Being fooled or distracted by romantic gestures and grand empty promises. I'd be on the verge of breaking up with someone, but then "I bought you a gift" or "I can see myself marrying you one day" or "I'll take you to Paris. Any "weird old trick" type stuff that sounds like it could have been lifted from Cosmo or The Rules.
9 Relationship Mistakes I Made In My 20s That I’ll Never Repeat | Thought Catalog
Like "never IM him first" and all that sort of coy indirect crap. Not examining what I had to offer, or how I could be a better partner; assuming any flaws I had were innate and immutable.
Assuming a relationship would solve all my problems. Allowing our sex life to fail miserably and assuming that was normal in a long term relationship. Trying to always get her to do things my way and always believing that my way was best or even that it mattered. Isolating from my friends.
Thinking I was ready for the white picket fence dream and going into debt to get it. And thinking that it meant the relationship was successful because we had a "grown up life. A real connection requires more. You should be inspired by your partner and love communicating with them. If both of these are true, kindness and good sex come naturally anyway. I don't mean I was rampantly flirting with everyone as far as I can recallI just kind of assumed if I tried hard enough and didn't completely hate the guy I could start up a relationship that worked.
Yeah I have no idea what the fuck. Mostly when I think about going back and giving any relationship advice to myself between the ages of oh say 15 and 21, it involves yelling and violence: P posted by agress at 8: Fighting about things that are unimportant in the long run. Being ashamed in the first place. And allowing myself to feel further shamed when my dark side revealed itself to the other person's shock and dismay. This means have your own hobbies, interests, goals, friends, job and money.
Your relationship will end at some point. It may end in a few weeks or it may end after a few years, or it may end after ten years of marriage, or if you are very lucky, it will end with one of you dying after spending a life together.
No matter when and how the end comes, you want to make sure you have your own life to lead once it ends.
So cultivate your hobbies and interests and don't stop them once you find a life partner. Don't neglect your friends when you fall in love.
9 Relationship Mistakes I Made In My 20s That I’ll Never Repeat
Don't put off traveling because you haven't yet met "the one. Also, a lot of people let their health, weight and appearance go to hell once they meet someone. You owe it to your future self to stay healthy.
I have a fantastic marriage but one of the things I really like about it is that we each have our own lives, so I know my husband would be okay if something happened to me and vice versa. Plus, having different hobbies and friends keeps our relationship interesting. He tells me about woodworking, tennis and computers and I tell him about reading and writing.
8 Relationship Mistakes From My Early 20’s That I’ll Never Make Again
We both have successful careers, which means we'd both be perfectly capable of supporting ourselves in the event the other person wasn't around. Also, trust your gut. When I look back on the failed relationships of my twenties, I realized that in each of them there was a little voice going "eh, I don't think he's the right guy for you.