Anyone with a 4(ish) year age gap between siblings? - Mothering Forums
It seemed we were just getting to enjoy our son and our marriage was You can explain things to a 4-year-old that a younger child wouldn't. Before my husband and I had kids, I'd always assumed we'd have our children a couple of years apart. We didn't plan it out. I just figured that's how it would work. My brother is 4 years older than me and we get along great, now we are . little in common, live 10km apart and speak maybe twice a year.
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Mind the gap
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Mind the gap | Life and style | The Guardian
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You may also notify us by sending mail to the following address: It's a frightful shock to the system. You'll have a mental life, and a capacity to represent your thoughts to yourself. You're less likely to just be in the grip of your emotions. And, says James, "You'll also have the capacity to initiate relationships with anyone else who might be around - your father, for example.
There's a simple logic to it, really. Sylvia Vilona, 43, is a full-time mother who is expecting her ninth child this June. Seven of her children - Mariaclara, 21, Franceso, 16, Enrico, 13, Tecla, 9, Lorenzo, 6, Tommaso, 4 and Eugenia, 2 - live at home with the family in Ealing, west London.
Twenty-year-old Giovanni, her second child, lives in a university hall of residence in north London. Her impressive maternal experience has led her to the conclusion that, while a close age gap between siblings can be arduous for the parents, it works well for the children. When one began screaming, the other would start off.
On one occasion I needed to put Sam to bed and Layla wouldn't stop screaming. It got so bad that I strapped her in her high chair while I took Sam away for 10 minutes to put him to bed. I felt awful about it, but there was nothing I could do.
If I'd taken her with me, she would have just screamed in my arms and I'd never have got Sam to sleep. Sam is four, Layla two-and- a-half, and they're "great friends".
Mendis, contrary to what professional psychologists say, holds that "You don't get such sibling rivalry when children are really close in age. Sam was so young when Layla was born that within a week he'd forgotten he was ever an only child. When I get home from work, they squabble to get up on my lap. The first of my two younger sisters is two-and-a-half years my junior.
Such was my fury at her arrival that - my mother now tells me - I actually stopped talking for a while.
4 year age gap between kids
Oliver James, who was 18 months old when another sibling arrived, says his "earliest memory is of falling off my parents' bed in rage at the birth of the baby. I broke my collarbone. And yet, of course, sibling rivalry - at the root of which, say psychologists, is the deep and absolutely natural desire of each child for the exclusive love of his parents - can cut both ways.
From their verbal sparring, they learn the difference between being clever and being hurtful. From the normal irritations of living together, they learn how to assert themselves, defend themselves, compromise. Though aware of the danger of being prescriptive about what works best, she was clear that, for her family, she wanted longer gaps between the children. And so four years separate each of her boys: Brendan, 13, Dominic, 8, Gabriel, 5 and ten-week-old Colmcille.